How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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