We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
