Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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