NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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