i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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