So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
