my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Panties = found
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
