i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
