You work out of a Hotel?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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