Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
