Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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