a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving