I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.