i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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