I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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