He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
