i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
bring money and cleavage
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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