So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
