i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach