so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
