I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...