Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!