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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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• (406): View more from Montana

  He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!

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• (914): View more from New York

  Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?

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