My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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