I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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