It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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