We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
