His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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