Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
