wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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