She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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