You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
3 2 1 whiskey
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
