He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize