im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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