And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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