I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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