She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
