Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
