Im at strip club and am horny
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
