it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
