What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, beer. Big fan.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
