DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Randomize
