I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
