it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this will be a night to untag.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
