At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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