Where are you?
In a non slutty way
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
