we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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