but the lizard people decide everything anyway
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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