I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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