It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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