does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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