THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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