So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
