Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Non-Jews are for practice
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
