I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
