the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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