I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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