I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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