I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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