i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
