Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
