Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
