I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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