Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
