so explain again why im purple
no
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
