is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
